Best Christmas Present

This is not a joke. It's as big as it looks, it locks and unlocks with the keys, and the flap swings to cover the keyhole. It was retrieved when the contents of a country house in the family were broken up many years ago and now I have it!

It's security theatre. It looks the business, but it fails against Kerckhoffs' principle-- offhand, in two ways: it's not convenient to use -- the keys would destroy my key-ring -- and of course that key is thoroughly guessable