Time for Tubby Bye-Bye, Meestair Bond

Well, the NMAAJS Daughter has been on Club Penguin for a month or so, and she's been enrolled as a secret agent. You get a tool to move around the site more easily, a range of mission games, a secret tunnel from the sports shop to the surveillance HQ and some fine clothing options like a bow tie and a tuxedo. (Why on earth would a penguin -- the world's most sophisticated bird -- need a dinner jacket?)

But the real meat is in the handbook. You have to report mean penguins and the ones who use bad words, so some harried moderator in Tucson or wherever can review the log and decide on an appropriate action.

Little do they know that the NMAAJSD has essentially no chance of spotting bad language -- we were watching two potty-mouthed puffins F Uing and F U 2ing and she had no idea what it meant. And this is the child who, on her fifth birthday, addressed the author of her being in these terms: "Just fuck off, Daddy."

Still, you have to give them credit. They're at least trying to make it fun to be a snitch, and that puts them a little ahead of the Staasi.