The Future Still Isn't Right, pt II

And another thing. Spectacles. I had my eyes tested today and my prescription has shifted again. Fair enough, and I've opted to head off into the world of varifocals with a pair of single vision driving specs, and what's called occupational lenses which shade from VDU at the top down to reading at the bottom. There are three grades of optical efficiency to choose from, optional high index plastic to reduce the weight, optional quarterwave coating for transparency, and an (optional) hardness treatment. With correction and astigmatism in the basic prescription, the Dear only knows how many possible variations on the basic format that is.

During the test, I could opt to have my retina photographed for reference (for a tenner, how could I not?) and a chance to compare it with the lovely optometrist's album of interesting eyeballs. And the whole thing was conducted at a time and place to suit me. It was the very model of the modern custom shopping experience.

But if choice is the aim, why, for the love of every holy thing, do they only make spectacle frames in two sizes: too small, and much too fucking small? Am I the only person in the world with a head like a watermelon? I think not. And on that topic why is the choice limited to what they have in the shop on that day? Is it so impossible to record the relative location of ears, pupils and nose, and cut lenses to suit a pair of frames out of a catalogue? I want glasses like Michael Douglas in Falling Down: I need nerd authority, but yet again I've settled for some boring black metal frames that are barely willing to exist.

How sad.